It’s time for a 2nd Grade simile and metaphor lesson!

Editor’s Note: We’re going to withhold the name of the intended grandpa (Felicia did write this about one in particular, but it’s more fun to keep Grandpa, Papa, and GrandPaPa guessing!

My Grandpa is … by Felicia Keller

Old like Methusala,
Hungry like a starving elephant,
Shiny like a penny,
and Strong as a lion.
Musical and a smooth voice,
fun as a horse,
as funny as a pig on rollerskates,
and smart like Albert Einstein.
My Grandpa is all of these things.

Bonus: Happy Birthday, Grandpa!

Editor’s Note: This one is definitely intended for Grandpa, the one who celebrates a birthday today. Jocelyn wrote this last night in en email message, and used her creative license to gleefully present it as one big block of text.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR GRANDPA…HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! (now you make a wish and blow out the candles) YAY!!!!!!!!! NOW WE CAN EAT CAKE!!!!!! YUMMY!!!!!!!

Unbeknownst to all(except Grandpa, of course), Grandpa has wished to go on a visit to Dream Island, where all your dreams come true. So, at midnight, the birthday-wish-wish-make-truers come to collect Grandpa. They enter a portal to the land of no time, where there is no such thing as time. That way, Grandpa can stay there as long as he wants. They take Grandpa to a majestic palace, where he is to be treated as King for the remainder of his stay. Then, after everybody has eaten their fill of cookies, candies, and cupcakes, the birthday-wish-wish-make-truers do their birthday-wish-wish-make-true dance. Suddenly, the entire palace is transported to Dream Island. As Grandpa steps outside, he is suddenly showered with iphone4s and GPSes. He grabs as many as he can to take home to his grandchildren. A little ways away, there is a sign on a door advertising a massive geocache competition that is happening in 10 minutes. Grandpa is excited. He likes geocaching. He hurries off to a large amphitheater where the rules are being explained. Soon, Grandpa is off searching for geocaches, with the help of one of the GPSes that he caught when he first came out of the palace. The first geocache has a description of “yummy goodness.” Grandpa thinks maybe it could be a bakery. He asks a young girl where the nearest bakery is. She says nothing, but points down a side street. Grandpa hopes she knows what he is talking about and sets off down the street. On his way, he sees several rabbits, and remembers his childhood days. Thinking of the real world also reminds him of Grandee, who he wishes were here. But, alas, the one thing Dream Island cannot do is transport living people who don’t have birthdays currently to the island. Thinking of Grandee makes him remember her cheesy bread, and once again, he remembers the bakery. And just in time, too. He was about to walk straight past it. He looks down at the arrow on his GPS. It is pointing to the store, but he is still 742 ft away. Even though he would like to get something from the bakery, he doesn’t, because he is on a geocaching mission. He walks around the store and down the street next to it. He is getting ever closer. 568 ft… 431 ft… 379 ft… 211 ft… 143 ft… 97 ft… 36 ft… He rounds the corner. And stops in amazement. His awe slowly turns to excitement as he beholds the sight in front of him. A giant chocolate fountain is in the middle of the square. And there are people swimming in it. Grandpa jumps up and down happily. He finds a room to change into his swim-clothes(which conveniently appear in his backpack). He rushes out and takes a flying leap into the fountain-pool. He has just finished a lap of backstroke when he realizes he has forgotten about the geocaching challenge. Oh no! Still covered in chocolate, he leaps out of the pool and races to get his GPS. He has a hunch that the chocolate fountain contains the geocache. Grandpa takes one look at the GPS and knows he is right. He jumps back in. Since the terrain is extremely difficult, he figures the geocache is at the bottom of the pool. He dives down to look for it. After several tries, he spots a blinking light. He goes over to investigate. He has found it! Grandpa is victorious! Eventually, Grandpa thinks it is time to get out and do more geocaching. He decides to investigate one in the middle of a lake on a small island. That way, he can kyack over there. Grandpa continues his glorious day, which just keeps getting better and better. He eats pancakes and waffles for lunch in the bakery he went by before he came to the chocolate fountain. He takes pictures of beautiful flowers on a nature hike. He even learns how to snowboard, even though he falls several times. At least now he can tell David he tried. He is quite satisfied when he enters the palace once again. He eats dinner, which is sausages, asparagus, and cheesy bread in the banquet hall. When he is done, he begins to feel quite sleepy. A servant escorts him to his bedroom. He falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. He has had a long, fun, tiring day. Soon, the birthday-wish-wish-make-truers come in to collect Grandpa and take him back home. They enter the magic portal and arrive at the same exact time they left. Grandpa doesn’t notice, though, because he is asleep. The birthday-wish-wish-make-truers bestow good wishes upon Grandpa, and then they leave. In the morning, Grandpa wakes up with tons of energy because he has slept in. That was another thing he wished for. The next day, all the items in the house want to help Grandpa because he still has Dream Island’s magic on him. The Dream Island magic makes items jump into Grandpa’s hand, such as his coffee, the TV remote, and even the glass frog he accidentally dropped. He also finds some really yummy chocolate under his pillow. Grandpa tells Grandee all the things that happened to him, but he isn’t sure she believes him. So, the next time his granddaughters, Jocelyn and Felicia come over, he tells them all about it. They believe him, he is sure. Maybe they have even been there. If they have, he knows that they will always remember it. Because he sure will.

Happy Birthday! I hope you liked your adventure to Dream Island!

Love,
Jocelyn

After several weeks of focusing on Jocelyn’s play performance at church last Sunday, Felicia had her day in the sun today, as her “Littlest Angels” choir performed before the service this morning.

Although for the most part, it was only Felicia who was singing:

We call that a solo, ladies and gentlemen! Felicia was also excited about ribbon-dancing down the aisle before singing and about giving away flowers to moms afterward … both of which you could argue she did by herself, too.

As part of a poster contest to Stop Bullying (hosted by American Girl in conjunction with their new Girl of the Year), Jocelyn has designed the following message to her peers:

Bully Alert

5 strategic ideas for solving Bullying

1. Agree with bully
2. district or change the subject
3. ignore the bully
4. walk away
5. laugh and make a joke

The bully just wants a reaction. Don’t give them one!

Truth be told … the history of Grandee’s InFamous Pretzel Jello reverberates with joy and merriment. It is one of the family traditions that is traditionally different every time it is made.

This year’s Thanksgiving Pretzel Jello presented two unique additions to the lore of tasty combination of sweet jello, salty pretzels, and creamy topping.

For whatever reason, this year’s version seemed to be less, well, jiggly than years past, having set-up more firmly. Theories abound, but perhaps some extra time out on the counter for some — or all — of the ingredients made a difference.

But more significantly, the 2008 Pretzel Jello fortuitously provided an extra cushion for the also-now-sadly-traditional (and semi-annual) dropping of the digital camera.

The camera has its own tether for my wrist — now standard practice — but it wasn’t in place during a fumbled camera hand-off between myself and Grandee. I did manage to grab the leash, but not before a corner of the camera hit the jello.

Fortunately, the camera — and the Pretzel Jello — both lived to see another day.

Felicia got a special surprise package in the mail today … a Tinkerbell dress-up gown. A great letter came with it:

Dear Felicia:

GrandMaMa bought me this cute Tinkerbell dress to wear at a costume parade last weekend. It didn’t work. You can not put a fluffy dress on a dog with no legs. I couldn’t walk in it. I wore it on for only 5 minutes and refused to go on the parade. I kept tripping on the dress.

I know how much you love to dress-up, so I asked GrandMama to please give the dress to you.

GrandMama ran the dress through the dryer to get my dog hair off of it. Hope you like it.

Love, Daisy

First of all, you need to know that Felicia picked out her outfit all by herself this morning. She was personally very excited to go to the Earthquakes game today at Buck Shaw Stadium.

It’s also worth noting that she apparently agrees with commentator Jay Hipps, that there is no need to refer to the MLS franchise from New York by its supposed name. She kept calling them the “FireBolts” in reference to Jocelyn having read all 448 pages of Harry Potter 3 in four days this week.

And the girls got to take their picture with the actual MLS Cup trophies that that the previous SJ Earthquakes won before the thieving scoundrels from AEG couldn’t stand their success any longer, and moved them to Houston.

Despite all of this, the Quakes still spotted their unnamed opponent an own goal in the 4th minute, and only managed a tie in a game they otherwise thoroughly dominated. Maybe next week.

Is it possible we’ve got dikes, polders, and reclamation projects on our minds?

Two days after returning to California, we visited local Lincoln Glen Park, which features a pretend stream that feeds into a great sandbox. Here we see Jocelyn & Felicia working together to dam the river and create a pool — undoubtedly inspired by our recent visit to the dike-reclaimed Netherlands and the canal-laden city of Venice.

In truth, various dams and pools were already under construction by other children before we got there … but there’s no question that our recent experiences helped take the cooperative playground planning to another level!

Well, our fabulous European holiday to Italy and The Netherlands has come to an end. This post should be hitting the website as we travel across the Atlantic Ocean or perhaps across the polar ice cap), and serves as a friendly safety announcement from the digital traffic safety boards that cover most of Amsterdam.

Word Geen Slaaprijder: We’re told it means something like “Don’t Fall Asleep,” which is apropos to the jet lag issues which surely await us on our return.

Originally, we tought it might be the ubiquitous “Please Drive Safely” announcement or some such rhyming “Click it or Ticket” nonsense. Here in NL, it’s totally illegal to use a cell phone while driving a car — it’s fine while riding a bike, of course — and they advertise the catchy phrase “Use It and Lose It” … but that’s an other story.

At any rate … once we’re back in San Jose, you can look for back-dated blog posts and updated Flickr pictures (including some video) from our incredible vacation.